Ode to the Star-Nosed Mole

mental expectorations in poetic format (often rhyming...huzzah!), dedicated to my very favorite rodent.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Smell 'Em While You Can

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A shrink who was known as McSnowpeas Sniffed his patients, and then gave prognoses He said with a snort, “My dears, life is short... So take...
Sunday, January 9, 2011

Del(h)i Belly

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There once was a lad in Old Delhi Who bought some cold cuts that were smelly He announced, “This old meat Is disgusting to eat. Next time I’...
Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Note to Self

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Note: Buttercrunch Toffee is so delicious it hurts to eat. The pleasure becomes so pleasurable that it passes the pleasure limit and becomes...
Monday, January 3, 2011

Tripping Upright

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A man said, “What I’ll never get Is why people say shrooms make you trip. I ate half a pound And went dancing around But I never once st...

The Importance of Specificity in One's Will

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Said Tim Flin, “Make it say on my grave: My name, and beneath that: The Brave,” Well, soon he was dead And that’s just what it said: Wit...

The Parable of Yerrible

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“I do think that women look terrible In skimpy bikinis,” said Yerrible “The burka-clad chicks Are the ones that I’d pick ‘Cause their beauty...
Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Last Supper

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For his last meal on Death Row, Old Fred (Before getting shot in the head) Ate cakes, pork, steak, fries And twelve elephant thighs— Tur...
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