Liza Greech, the Lonely Leech

Liza Greech, the lonely leech
Was ugly as a rotten peach
She lived in water thick as mud
And sucked on slug and insect blood
She couldn’t help but be this way
And had no friends with whom to play
‘Cause when she asked to join their games
They cried, “No way! You’ll drain our veins!”
This made her sad—she cried and cried
She longed for someone by her side
She sobbed aloud, “What can I do
To have some friends? Just one or two?”
A helpful bird said, “Change your diet!
“Then I’ll be your friend—just try it!”
Liza Greech said, “Golly gee!
That’s good advice! No blood for me!”
She gave up blood—ate plants instead
But then got woozy in the head
She lost her strength; she couldn’t thrive
She needed blood to stay alive
“No use,” she sighed, “Plants just aren’t right!
I need a blood-filled bug to bite!
My playmate quest is at its end.
I’ll never, ever have a friend.”
But then—just then—there came a man!
Who scooped up Liza in his hand
And put her in a small glass jar
Which then he placed inside his car
And drove as fast as he was able
To an operation table!
“Great!” the doctor said, “You’re here!”
“This boy has almost lost his ear!
We sewed it on again, it’s true—
But now it’s turning black and blue—
We can’t unplug the venous clot!
We’ll try a leech! It’s all we’ve got!”
“No, no!” the boy began to screech
“Don’t put me near that awful leech!”
The doctor said, “No time to mope!
This parasite’s your only hope!”
Poor Liza’s heart was beating wild
Could she, would she, save the child?
She shook with nervousness and fear
The doctor put her on the ear
She squeezed her eyes shut for good luck
She bit the ear, began to suck
And then, in hardly half a wink
The boy’s ear turned from blue to pink!
“Hooray!” The doctor gave a cheer
“The blood is flowing in the ear!
The chemicals in leeches’ spit
Clear up blood clots in a tick!”
At this, our Liza could have cried
A billion tears of happy pride
The boy was also filled with glee
And asked, “Can she come home with me?
I think she’d make the perfect pet!”
The doctor said, “Sure, kid! You bet!”
The boy took Liza everywhere
And from then on, they were a pair
He kept her in a box of glass
She even came with him to class!
He fed her fresh, delicious bugs
He played with her, and gave her hugs
And when he went to bed at night
He whispered to her, “Now sleep tight!”
So Liza was at last befriended…
How’d she feel then?
Bloody splendid.

THE TRUE STORY:
Bloodsucking leeches have been used for thousands of years in the field of medicine—in fact, they used to be prescribed for almost every type of sickness! Leeches gradually fell out of popularity, but made a comeback in the 1980s, thanks in part to the physician Dr. Joseph Upton, who tried to re-attach the ear of a five-year old boy from Massachusetts. Ears have hair-thin veins that are very difficult to re-connect in surgery, and not enough blood was flowing into the re-attached ear of the little boy. Knowing that enzymes in leech saliva prevent blood clotting, Dr. Upton ordered leeches to be shipped overnight to the hospital, and the next day the boy’s ear was saved. Unlike in the story of Liza Greech, the boy did not take home any of his heroic leeches as pets, but it’s still fun to imagine what would have happened if he had.