Befuddled Puddle Huddle

It was cold, so everyone huddled together

Mumbling about the unbearable weather

“I wish it were warmer!” they whined. “We miss sweat!”

“And furthermore, why are our feet soaking wet?”

Then a man came along and informed the cold huddle:

“You’re wet ‘cause you’re standing inside of a puddle!”

The huddlers continued to mumble and frown

The man said, “It’s true! It’s a puddle! Look down!”

But the huddlers were huddled quite tight; chin to chin

They couldn’t look down to see what they were in

And so they continued to whine and to fret

And wonder why all of their feet were so wet

The man said, “Unhuddle, and then you will see!”

But the huddlers said, “No! We’re as cold as can be.”

And so they kept standing, confused, in their puddle.

 Some people just don’t like to be un-befuddled.

sikorsky

sikorsky is a military helicopter company
that has hired two giggly twins

one of the twins gets nervous
about hot oil in the frying pan

the other is afraid to say a word
to blatant litterbugs
and right-wing blabbermouths

a colleague twice her age comes up behind her
and whispers,
"when you smile, the whole world smiles"

creepy

Three Heads

     There once lived a little boy who had three heads. He could switch heads as often as he pleased, and just as easily as if they were wigs.
     The first head was as teeny-tiny as a chestnut and bald and its mouth was so small that it could only fit one grain of rice at a time. This was what he called his “Mini-Head.”

     The second head was a regular sized boy head, with freckles across the nose, brown eyes, brown hair, and a mouth big enough for a heaping spoonful of rice at a time. The only problem with this head was its cheeks, which were so chubby and pink that middle-aged women pinched them at least three times a month. This was the little boy’s cross to bear. He called this head his “Cheeky Head.”

     The third head was one the boy called “Mega Head” because it was the size of a watermelon. A whole pot of rice could fit in the mouth, and the eyes were bright blue and all across the face were freckles as big as bottle caps. The hair was blonde and wild and feathery like the tail of a big happy dog, and the ears were huge and stick-outy and gave the boy excellent hearing. Being so large and disproportionate, this particular head often threw the boy off balance. He had to work hard to keep it from tilting to one side or the other, and the effort gave him neck aches.

     It seems fairly obvious that the boy wore the second head most regularly, as it was the most proportionate. Well, I can verify this fact—Cheeky Head was the only head the little boy ever wore in public. But what did he do as soon as he got home from school and shut the door to his room? I’ll tell you— he put on Mini Head! And he kissed and he kissed and he kissed. Indeed, it was quite serendipitous that he owned such a microcephalic prosthetic, because without Mini Head’s tiny lips the boy never could have kissed his girlfriend Lucy, who was an adorable little striped snail. So it turned out that Mini Head was the boy’s favorite head of all! And you might wonder—did the boy ever wear Mega Head despite its clumsy and unnatural size? Yes, but he only wore it when he was mad at Lucy and wanted to show that he wouldn’t kiss her. With Mega Head, the boy’s lips were bigger than Lucy’s entire body, and a kiss would smash her. So Lucy felt very small in the presence of this unkissable head. She was only a snail, and had no alternate heads of her own. This was her cross to bear.