save $$ on hard drives

did you know you can have your entire computer saved to a cow?

your data comes out the udders, only it's been magically transformed into a delicious, potable, creamy-white milk.

Past Life Regression

sitting down with a past life regression therapist

i learn that i was once a british orphan, scrubbing floors on my knees

i learn that i was once a chinese soldier, fighting for mao
i learn that i was once a very very very old woman in russia who didn't speak to anyone and survived only on rabbit meat and weak tea

Wolf Raised By People

Making her wear lady's gloves

Upon her wolfy paws

Always quick to mention

Her many wolfy flaws

She isn't good at tea time

She isn't good in school

She just curls up and goes to sleep

Her textbook's full of drool

"Sit straight! Don't slouch!

And comb your fur!

My goodness, how you shed!

And why's it always meat you want?

Not satisfied with bread?

How kind we were to take you in

And look how we're repaid...

You'll eat us out of house and home

Such sacrifice we've made!"

The she-wolf sighs; she tries and tries

It don't do any good

Instead of tea and school, she'd like to

Hunt deer in the wood

In her mind, she hears the phrases

That her benefactors said:

"If it weren't for us, by now

You'd be illiterate or dead!"

So she picks up her embroidery

And she fumbles with the thread

And makes up her mind to try again

To eat less meat, more bread.

Three Poems about the Eclipse

Eclipse, day. Eclipse, night.

Eclipse blurs boundaries between day and night.

Eclipse, hi. Eclipse, why.

I know something about your wily ways.

Eclipse, when. Eclipse, you.

You haven't had enough tomato sauce.

Eclipse, one. Eclipse, disaster.

Where did you put your clean knickers?

Eclipse, friends. Eclipse, not-friends.

The Great Betrayal.

Eclipse has many sides, for example

You could be a scientist and want the eclipse

to be for your experiments or

You could be a poet and want the eclipse

to give you a glimpse of cosmic beauty or

You could be a child with parents who neglect to buy you a pair of glasses and you burn holes through your retinas--yow!

When I went out to see the eclipse, it was cloudy and I saw only clouds

Other people: 'wow!' 'amazing!' 'totally worth it!' plus Instagram posts of them in their eclipse-glasses

pangs of wishing this cosmic line-up would align my mind with purpose--if only I had been there! but of course, if I had been there, it would have been a different me, there would have been a glitch in the web of all time, a pig staring at the web would have noticed the glitch and whined, all animals would suffer from an instant-knowing-they-were-about-to-be-killed-right-as-they-were-about-to-be-killed but wait, do they have that anyway?