Thursday, July 11, 2019

There is Little Room for Nuance


There is little room for nuance, little room for nuance!
I tried to fit nuance in the room but there is little room for her
She is a beastie, a small beastie, and we will sacrifice her for friendship.

There is little room for nuance, little room for nuance!
She is drinking too much wine and spouting nonsense
She is non-partisan, then partisan, then philosophical, then anti-philosophical
Her coat is an unappealing shade of gray
We have to keep shifting under her gaze, never quite settling into the sofa
She is a beastie, a small beastie, and we will sacrifice her for friendship.

There is little room for nuance, little room for nuance!
While stirring soup, she makes us question our gender roles
We cannot even open a can of beans without wondering who made the beans
Our politics are in tatters
We can’t make love without pondering socially conditioned power dynamics and potential archetypes activated by the presence of a phallus
She is a beastie, a small beastie, and she lives in the attic and cannot be slain.

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Pool of Small Dogs

There are a million small dogs in this pool.
I cannot get in the pool because of the million small dogs.

“Hey, get in,” says the lifeguard
“You can do lots of things in the pool except swim.
For example, you can pet the small dogs.”

I stand there in my bathing trunks
Goggles on, looking at the yapping, heaving mess of fur.

“You mean...I...should just jump in?”
The lifeguard says: “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

I jump, and land on piles of claw and teeth and paw and fur
I sneeze. Someone paws at my swim trunks. My swim trunks are off.
I am naked in this pool of small dogs.

“Pet the dogs!” cries the lifeguard
But stressed, bloodied, nude-- I crawl my way
To the ladder to get out of the pool

“You braved it!” smiles the lifeguard, gap-toothed
“Sorry about that Dachshund.
Wanna join me for a drink?”

You might be surprised to learn
I later married that lifeguard
You might be surprised to learn
Small Dog Pools took off

We just had to de-claw the dogs
Grind their teeth down
Treat for fleas

Many people prefer the sensation of fur
To that of water
It’s warm
Plus you get--
the wet nose
the quick lick of the tongue

And we took out that pervie Dachshund
Who always stole people’s swim trunks
No one wants to feel so vulnerable
So egregiously exposed