Witch and Bellybutton

Witch and bellybutton

Were walking through the trees

Witch went slow and haggard

Button moved with ease

“It’s been some time since walking,”

The witch said to the button

“In my old age, I don’t get out

I’ve really been a shut-in.”

“You’ll soon regain the hang of it,”

The button said to witch

But just as he could say it

She fell into a ditch!

“Oh, help me, bellybutton!”

The feeble sorc’ress cried

The bellybutton, small but brave,

Grabbed a branch and tried

The witch grabbed on; the button pulled

But this was no small hustle

For witch weighed 80 kilos

And button had no muscle

“I’m just too weak,” he finally said

“I can’t lift up your weight.

Quick, change me into something else

Before it grows too late.”

The witch grew pale and silent

And finally she cried

“I haven’t cast a spell,” she said

“Since I was thirty-five.”

“I have a feeling,” Button said

“That now’s the time to practice!”

“Zamboony!” Witchy said, which turned

The button to a cactus.

“Well, shit,” the cactus grunted

“I can never help you now.

I’m a spiky hunk of cellulose

Whose arms can’t reach the bough.”

“I should’ve practiced,” Witchy moaned

“Oh, stupid witch is me!

I’d stopped performing spells

And just watched sitcoms on T.V.”

“You’ve ruined it for both of us,”

The bellybutton said

“We’re stuck here, and in just some days

We’ll certainly be dead.”

The witch lived 29 more days

And perished on day 30

But cactus lived a hundred years

‘Cause succulents are sturdy.

The moral of the tale, of course

Is don’t get out of practice

And be grateful your umbilicus

Looks nothing like a cactus.

A Riddle

Let's pretend two people live in Sweden and they have no legs. One of them has seen the Northern Lights and the other one hasn't.

Which one hasn't?

Surprising

It is surprising that some people are homeless while other people live in beautiful sky-high cardboard boxes.

Wait a minute.

Then and Now

I didn’t allow my thoughts to roam
I told myself not to muse
I didn’t allow the flesh of
My calves or thighs or wrists to bruise
I didn’t allow my dreams to stick
I ushered them out the door
I shut my unconscious with a brick
I blocked off the id’s back door
I didn’t allow my armpit hair
To grow past an eighth of an inch
I watched the news and didn’t sigh,
Regurgitate or flinch
I didn’t allow my tongue to taste
The nutritional blend I drank
I hitched an anchor to
My moral compass so it sank
I didn’t allow my spending to be
More than half what I earned in a year
I didn’t drink water in order
To hinder my eyeball
From forming a tear
I didn’t allow my rage to flow
I bottled up all my grief
But that was then, and now
I’m liable to weep
At the sight of ground beef.

The Wolf Who Couldn't Sleep

There once was a wolf who couldn't sleep
His fur was matted and gray
His eyes were bloodshot and he felt
Lethargic through the day
And then when bedtime came, his brain
Was riddled through with thoughts
With content like: Do clouds have minds?
What happens when wood rots?
Do skunks know just how bad they smell?
Are certain mushrooms shy?
Can lowly earthworms fall in love?
Is earth aware of sky?
The thoughts went on and on like this
Night after sleepless night
And not a wink of sleep was won
The sun rose cruelly bright
And due to deprivation, this poor wolf
Would drag his feet
The pack went on without him
Soon he had no food to eat
Cold nights in cave with questions like:
Is starlight close or far?
Do bats have dreams? And why do
Frogs say 'croak' and bears say 'rawr'?
He lasted only three weeks more
No food, no sleep, just thinking
He tossed and turned each night, and spent
His days at rivers drinking
But no one gave him answers
Until one night he was dead
There was a wolf who couldn't sleep
But you're not him. Go to bed.