A Duck's Debt to a Spider

A handicapped duck named Miss Rose
Moved slower than James Joyce’s prose
Until a kind spider
Crawled right up beside her
And spun a nice web for her toes

The Hidden Kangaroo

A man tripped and fell on a kangaroo that was under his bedroom carpet. He knew at once the lump was a kangaroo because of its kanga-rump and roo-ish tail.
“Hey, kangaroo,” he said. “How did you get under there? I have wall-to-wall carpeting. No way for you to squeeze in.”
“I am frightened,” peeped the kangaroo, and sure enough, the man noticed that the kangaroo lump was quivering slightly under the carpet.
“There, there,” said the man. “I am sure we can get you out.”
“No,” said the kangaroo. “I am frightened because I am not useful.”

Smell 'Em While You Can

A shrink who was known as McSnowpeas
Sniffed his patients, and then gave prognoses
He said with a snort,
“My dears, life is short...
So take time to smell the neuroses.”

Del(h)i Belly

There once was a lad in Old Delhi
Who bought some cold cuts that were smelly
He announced, “This old meat
Is disgusting to eat.
Next time I’ll buy from the New Delhi.”

Note to Self

Note: Buttercrunch Toffee is so delicious it hurts to eat. The pleasure becomes so pleasurable that it passes the pleasure limit and becomes unpleasurable.

Tripping Upright

A man said, “What I’ll never get
Is why people say shrooms make you trip.
I ate half a pound
And went dancing around
But I never once stumbled or slipped.”

The Importance of Specificity in One's Will

Said Tim Flin, “Make it say on my grave:
My name, and beneath that: The Brave,”
Well, soon he was dead
And that’s just what it said:
With “My name, and beneath that” engraved