A Ghost Enjoys Some Roast

Said the ghost to his host,
“This is very good roast!
From the coast to the coast
I shall boast of this roast!
I have had many roasts
But, dear host, I’m engrossed
by your roast! Let us toast
to this roast! It’s the roast
That I do like the most.”
Said the host (who was fat)
“It is strange you say that…
The roast’s in the oven
That’s where the roast’s at
And during the length
Of our brief little chat
I have noticed you’ve eaten
The food of the cat.”

Mr. Cookie

Here comes Mr. Cookie
He’s got sprinkle frosting too!
And if you cross your eyes and sing
You’ll get a cookie too
What’s the song that you must sing?
Well, this is how it goes:
“If I can’t have a cookie, Sir,
Then I'll bite off your nose.”

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“I live in a cage,” the robin said.
“My beak is sharp and my tummy is red.”
“I’m warming up,” said the soup in the pot
“And soon I shall be nice and hot.”
“You’ll boil, friend soup!” the robin said
“They’ll eat you then, and you’ll be dead!”
“I know,” said the soup. “I’ll be seasoned with sage.
And they’ll gobble me up. But you’re in a cage.”

The Boy Who Went to the Sea

Once there lived a very young boy
And a very young boy was he
He could swim like a fish, and he often did wish
He could live in the depths of the sea.
He’d sigh and he’d cry and he’d draw octopi
And he’d beg and he’d pout and he’d plea
But his mum said, “Now, now! I will never allow
You to live in the depths of the sea.”
“But mum!” he would yelp. “There are mermaids and kelp!”
And whales and great manatees!”
But his mum cried, “I said I would sooner be dead
Than allow you to live in the sea.”
“I don’t care!” said the tyke, and he hopped on his bike
And road til he couldn’t ride more
Though the journey was rough, our hero was tough
And quite soon he arrived at the shore.
He quickly jumped in, and he started to swim
And oh all the things he did see!
Some people say that he’s still there today
With the mermaids and great manatees.

I sat in the night

I sat in the night, with my hands on my head
And the night sat inside of my brain.
And I counted the stars with my fingers and toes
And then counted the droplets of rain.
The raindrops were simple, the stars were stuck-up
(After all, they’re the ones with the fame)
But raindrops are wet and they wetted me too
Which means we are one and the same.

My Pet Pelican

I have a pet—a pelican
I think he’s rather swellican
He always heeds when I say “Come!”
I never have to yellican
He catches me fresh fish to eat
And more fresh fish to sellican
And when it rains, he shelters me
His wings like an umbrellican
A better friend I’ll never have
I do so love my pelican
Although, with all the fish he eats,
He has begun to smellican

Grandma's Dentures

Grandma just got dentures
They’re really rather nice
But to hear her talk about them
You’d think the things were mice
“I’m sure I set them down here.
Right by the drying rack.
They must have gone a-scamperin’ off
Just when I turned my back!”
Then later she’ll say, “Here they are!
Right by my walking stick.
Can you believe they made it here?
Yee-gads, those things are quick.”
We’ll say, “Glad you found them.”
And then we’ll roll our eyes
She ought to buy a denture wheel
To give them exercise.

Seafood Brunch

The yearly ocean potluck
Is the brunch I like the most
There’s homemade strawberry jellyfish
And halibutter for toast
Sip the manatea—it’s delicious
And give the crab apples a try
Sample walrussian vodka, and for dessert
Have some fresh-baked octopie!

Fish Wishes

When you wish upon a star
Doesn’t matter where you are
But if it’s fish that you wish for
Better that you’re near the shore

The Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

So it’s truemutruemunukunukuapua’a
That youmuyoumunukunukuapua’a
Are a humuhumunukunukuapua’a?
I never knewmuknewmunukunukuapua’a!

The Anemone Enemies

The anemone enemies live
In anemone enemy denemies
Ten anemone enemy women
Ten anemone enemy menemies
They like to write down stories
With anemone enemy penemies
And mornings they gather their eggs
From anemone enemy henemies
Some enjoy meditation
They seek anemone enemy zenemie
But those who pray to God
Say their anemone enemy amenomies.