I am the magnificent magical marvelous
mind-boggling Wizard of Mings!
I can make any regular rhino or rat
Grow a whimsical pair of white wings!
I can turn any snaggle-toothed salmon or snake
Into any old thing that I need
But alas and alack for my problem is that
I simply don’t know how to read!
Oh I desperately want to discuss Hume or Kant
To read Shakespeare, Rousseau, Sophocles…
I would give my big toe just to read Mr. Poe
But I can’t even sing A, B, C’s!
I think it’d be great-oh! to delve into Plato
Or journals of Captain James Cook!
For having a wand is awfully grand
But I long for the magic in books.
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