Have you ever been waiting? Waiting for Gideon?
Gideon’s eyes are as black as obsidian
And if you wait for him—this is the truth
He’ll bring you whatever you’ve wanted since youth.
See, I’d wanted a baby since I was just five
A baby that’s pudgy and smart and alive
“My baby,” I thought, “will grow like a tree.
And if I just wait, Gids will bring it to me.”
So I waited for years on the streets of New York
Looking out for Old Gids, my personal stork
And after ten years he finally arrived!
He said, “You want a baby that’s smart and alive?”
And I said, “Yes, yes! Just bring it right here!”
“It’s everywhere,” he said, and then disappeared.
In my head I felt angry and cheated and mean
I was so darn upset I began to turn green
But then I heard everyone starting to yell
“Get down!” someone screamed, “It’s about to be hell!”
So I lay on the ground like the rest, and stayed put
There was panic like something real bad was afoot
There were rumors and whispers, and some guy named Pork
Said a giant volcano was there in New York!
He said the first minute there’d be an eruption
Then lava and death and all kinds of disruption!
Well, I didn’t think Pork really seemed like the cleverest
Until I saw something as big as Mt. Everest!
An enormous volcano, right there in the road
And it looked like it was just about to explode!
I was laying right there, so I had a good viewing
And boy if that mountain just didn’t start spewing!
But it didn’t spew lava or anything hot
In fact, it spewed BABIES! Right there on the spot!
I was suddenly swimming in infantile ocean
I felt as insane as a crackhead in motion
A volcano of babies! How truly absurd!
Old Gideon really was true to his word
And although I love babies, I sure wasn’t greedy
There have to be babies enough for the needy
So I picked just one infant—a cute little punk
And he was a bit fat so I named him Chunk Munk
He blew bubbles of spit, bubbles straight from the deep
And I knew he was just the right baby to keep
So trust in Old Gideon, he knows your fate
If you wait long enough then it won’t be too late
Keep your fingers crossed tight! It could just be true
That there’s a volcano out there for you too.
