A people-avoider, a slut, and a hoarder
All lived in a basement that smelled like old cheese
The people-avoider sat still in a corner
The slut and the hoarder did just as they pleased.
The hoarder kept objects, like beanbags and trainers
In plastic containers all over the place
The slut had his lovings atop the containers
The people-avoider just shielded her face.
The hoarder kept hoarding, until she came back
With ten trophies, a walrus, twelve chairs and nine trout.
This wasn’t so good for the slut and avoider
The hoarder'd essentially shoved them both out.
With nowhere to go, they went out in the snow
They split up and went on with their sorrowful lives
But deep down the hoarder adored the avoider
And deep down the slut wanted both as his wives.
So none were content, but one day all three went
To the same coffee shop to get out of the chill
“I’ve been meaning to ask…will you both be my wife?”
Asked the slut, and both friends shyly answered: “I will.”
So back in the basement, the friends became lovers
They always used rubbers (the slut had disease)
They did a deep clean so the floor could be seen
And this helped to get rid of the smell of old cheese.
The hoarder decided to donate her hoardings
The walrus she sold for two dollars, one cent
The slut stopped his slutting, avoider stopped cutting
And now, for the first time, the three are content.
