When I saw all the dark angels gathering, their wings spread
over the sky like black umbrellas, I put my pen down and chewed on the skin of
my thumb.
When I saw them descend, voices booming, damning the sinners
for their sins, I regretted that I had not lately called my mother.
When I saw the earth open up into a pit of hell, and the
sinners slide down squealing like pigs to slaughter, I felt warm droplets of
sweat form on my cheeks.
When the Great One appeared in blazing yellow glory, and
called the saints to live in High Paradise by his side, I ran out to join the
ascent.
The masses rose up above me, all those tall short old young
fat thin rich poor who had done good in their lives, who had lived according to
the Spirit, all of them rose above me so that I could see the bottoms of their
shoes, millions of shoes, and, to my shame, I could see up the skirts of those
who were wearing dresses…
And when all had been vacuumed up to High Paradise, I stood
alone in an empty world, waving my arms and crying to the Great One that I had
been forgotten.
When my arms got tired from waving, I lowered them, and
heard the crickets chirp.
What am I now? I thought. I am no one’s employee, no one’s
friend. I am no one’s son, no one’s lover.
There was no one to serve me ice cream. There was no one to
check out my library books. There were no traffic sounds; no need to
look both ways before crossing. I wondered if this was purgatory, or if I had
simply been forgotten.
Forgotten.
I sat on a park bench and waited for the Great One to
remember that I was meant to be vacuumed up as well.
But the stars came out, the shadows grew, and I was still
just the person the Great One forgot.
I ran around smashing some windows, whacking some fire
hydrants with crowbars, just to watch them spew.
Was it because I had looked up the saints’ dresses as they
ascended that I had been consigned to this leftover earth? Was that my final,
subtle test of sainthood--had I failed?
I was doomed to chastity now, I realized. Unless I developed
a liking for donkeys. Or sheep.
The crickets’ chirp grew louder, and I felt bad for smashing
things, even though I hadn’t really hurt anyone. It wasn’t as if there were
shop owners anymore.
I realized I didn’t have to go back to my apartment to sleep. I could sleep in the most luxurious penthouse in the city. I could sleep in the mayor’s mansion! But I went back to my own apartment anyway. I wanted to smell the smell of my sheets, and make sure my goldfish was still there.
I realized I didn’t have to go back to my apartment to sleep. I could sleep in the most luxurious penthouse in the city. I could sleep in the mayor’s mansion! But I went back to my own apartment anyway. I wanted to smell the smell of my sheets, and make sure my goldfish was still there.
