Five little ducks went out one day
Over the hill and far away
One said, “Life is nasty, brutish, and short.”
And shot himself on the spot.
Four little ducks went out one day
Over the hill and far away
One said, “Men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
And shot himself on the spot.
Three little ducks went out one day
Over the hill and far away
One said, “If God is omnipotent, omniscient, and perfectly good, why is there evil?”
And shot himself on the spot.
Two little ducks went out one day
Over the hill and far away
One said, “It is impossible to distinguish 'existence' from 'non-existence' as there are no objective qualities, and thus a reality, that one state could possess in order to discern between the two. If one cannot discern existence from its negation, then the concept of existence has no meaning; or in other words, does not 'exist' in any meaningful way.”
And shot himself on the spot.
One little duck went out one day
Over the hill and far away
“Today I shall picnic and nap!” he cried
“Much better that than suicide.”
