There was a man named Monkeyface
Who lived in a tiny hut
He had no friends, and spent all day
Counting up the hairs on his butt.
He had a neighbor, Stink Eye Ralph
Whose hut was also tiny
And just like Monkeyface, he counted
Up the hairs on his heinie.
One day, that rascal Stink Eye Ralph
Said, “Come on, Monkeyface!
Let’s tip a cow! Let’s rob a store!
Let’s break a crystal vase!”
So Monkeyface and Stink Eye Ralph
Wreaked havoc on the town
Tipped cows, robbed stores, broke vases, too
And burned the houses down
The cops arrested them and said,
“Now, fellas, looky here.
You’s vandals, and you’s goin’ to jail
For more’n fifty year.”
Now Monkeyface and Stink Eye Ralph
Both share a tiny cell
And count the hairs on each other’s butts
Which is prob’ly just as well.
