His name is Professor Moongalobyplockurgesis
He’s the national inspector for nocturnal enuresis
He wears a Frankenstein costume and arrives in your room
Around midnight or so, with the sound of a BOOM
From his Thunder-o-Matic-Boom-Tastic-Machine
Which one-hundred-percent guarantees that you’ll scream
Then he’ll swab at your sheets with a Q-tip and say
“You have helped in my study. Do have a nice day.”
He does visits like these every night, all in stealth
And compiles a report for Department of Health
Full of bar graphs and charts that support his main thesis:
"100% of us have enuresis."
(A statistic that made the Department confused
Until they discovered the methods he'd used).
Until they discovered the methods he'd used).
