Greepy's Creepy Carousel

Welcome to Greepy’s Creepy Carousel

Step up and have a spin around!

At just ten cents, it’s sure to be

The cheapest creepy spinning thing in town!

You’re guaranteed a scream or two

There ain’t no ponies here

Instead you can ride on a poison toad

Or a giant severed ear

You can hop on a slit-eyed serpent

Or a cockroach or hissing black cat

If you like you can swing on the leathery wing

Of a hanging vampire bat

You can ride in a witch’s cauldron

Or on top of a scary clown

(I don’t recommend the cauldron

‘Cause it doesn’t go up and down)

You can ride on any skeleton

(Don’t worry—most are fake)

You can also ride on Nessie

The monster from Loch Ness Lake

Old Greepy himself plays the music

His organ moans and wails

He’ll either play a funeral march

Or scratch chalkboards with his nails
The carousel opens at midnight
And if you're the first in line
You can snag a spot on the shoulders
Of a giant Frankenstein

So head over to Old Greepy's

I guarantee you'll have a blast

But I must mention that it's haunted
By the ghosts of riders past

Barbie, Barbie

Barbie Barbie, smile so white

Pretty as the brightest star in the night

Barbie Barbie, hair so neat

Look at her walk on her pointy feet

Barbie Barbie, face so clean

She can be a mermaid, nurse or queen

Barbie Barbie, lips so red

Why do I want to rip off her head?

The Otters Eat Off of Their Tummies

The otters eat off of their tummies

I’ve seen them catch clams near the docks

The otters eat off of their tummies

They bang open clams using rocks

The otters eat off of their tummies

While swimming along on their backs

The otters eat off of their tummies

They don’t need a plate for their snacks

The otters eat off of their tummies

While staring straight up at the sky

The otters eat off of their tummies

They even suck sea urchins dry

The otters eat off of their tummies

It's a method that suits them just fine

The otters eat off of their tummies

So why can’t I eat off of mine?

Choice of Clothing

A pigeon pecked my earlobes
A pigeon pecked my thighs
Another pigeon pecked the freckles
Just beneath my eyes
A pigeon pecked my kneecaps
And pecked my elbows sore
I guess I shouldn't wear
my bread crumb jumpsuit any more.

Acupuncture in New Orleans

I go to acupuncture for my back and for my wrist
But ain't it strange I've never seen my acupuncturist?
At my first appointment he took a lock of hair
I hear his voice behind the curtain so I know that he's there
He's good so I go every weekday, it's true
But I don't know how he voodoo it, do you?

Prickle Pigs

Prickle pigs and people lived in harmony until
prickle pig chopsticks came in style
Then people plucked every prickle pig quill
'til there were no prickled pigs for miles
"That wasn't nice! We'll get revenge!" the angry piggies said
But then they discovered silverware...
and just wore spoons instead.

Bubble Gum Tongue

You like to chew bubble gum? Really? You do?
Well then buddy have I got the candy for you!
It's a bubble gum tongue, and I'm kidding you not
It looks just like the tongue that you've already got
But it doesn't taste tonguey like normal tongues do
It's bubble gum flavored, so go on and chew!
You can chew it all day, and there's no need to fear
'Cause it bubble gum flavor lasts up to a year
It's a simple procedure to get it installed
And I promise you won't miss your own tongue at all
Snip, snip! See? You're tongue's out! Now isn't that great?
What? You're changing your mind now? Well, sorry. Too late.