“You know my friend Jake,” Julie said with a wink
“He’s unbearably rare, he’s distinctly distinct.
He’s…how can I say?...he’s unique, sui generis
Among planets he’s Earth, among cities he’s Paris
He’s eminent, striking, bizarre, distingué
He’s different from others in every which way
He’s special, he’s peerless, a keepsake, a prize
Not all can behold him, his light blinds their eyes
He’s the wolf in the story of little pigs three
‘Neath the princess’s bed, he’s the singular pea
He’s the treasure of pirates, a trophy, a gem
He’s not one of us, and he’s not one of them
He’s Godlike, he’s wondrous, he’s highly regarded
(Shh, is he gone?
Here’s the truth: he’s retarded.)
