You’re bored you say? You’re bored right now?
Well, then, I’ll milk the whiskey cow!
I'll simply grab my milking mitts
And go right out and squeeze her tits
Just ten to twenty hearty tugs
And we’ll have whiskey in our mugs
Then we’ll get drunk! Hip hip hooray!
How does it sound? What do you say?
You say you’d like to drink some booze
That did from whiskey-udders ooze?
Too bad! ‘Cause whiskey cows aren’t real!
So you’re just going to have to feel
That boredom. Go on! Let it in!
Be boreder than you’ve ever been
Let boredom soak you with its juice
‘Cause otherwise, well, what’s the use
Of being human? See, you must
Feel all the feelings, or you’ll rust
And boredom is a feeling, right?
So FEEL it, dummy, just sit tight
And be a human! K? Sound good?
You are not made of glass or wood
So just BE bored, be grateful, see?
Not for the bored, but for the BE
The feelings, well, they come and go
But you can always BE you know
And you don’t NEED a whiskey cow
When you are in the here and now
The present moment is at least
As good as boozy-uddered beasts!
Perhaps it’s better, ‘cause it’s free
At least that’s how it seems to me
A whiskey cow would cost a lot
And then there’s all the food you’ve got
To give it every single day
Like barley and alfalfa hay
And milking seems like quite a task
When you can simply get a flask
Of whiskey, from my whiskey hoard
Which you should do, because I’m bored.
