How dull the calendar would be without our holidays
They’re the days we keep traditions, and traditions should be praised.
Oh, I do so love Thanksgiving, with its hidden eggs to find
And I love to watch the fireworks and wave flags on Valentine’s.
For Labor Day, I like to pinch the fools who don’t wear green
And it’s fun to watch the groundhog on T.V. each Halloween
On Columbus Day I look for pots of gold and leprechauns
And there’s nothing like a round of “Rudolph” during Ramadan.
Then lastly there is Kwanzaa, when we all eat latkes—yummy!
But Christmas’s tough, ‘cause I don’t have enough
toilet paper to dress as a mummy.
