Every full moon, the handsome wereman Jack
Would have to sneak off and leave the wolf pack
‘Cause he knew that he’d be shunned from his clan
If they ever found out that he was sometimes a man
Well, in a nearby town lived the werewolf Bruce
And every full moon, he had to make some excuse
To leave his family—just like Jack
So as not to give his wife a heart attack
Well, it happened one night in a moonlit glade
That Jack saw Bruce, but he wasn’t afraid
“You’re not a wolf,” he said, “I can tell…
You’ve got a distinctive human smell.”
“You’re right!” said Bruce, “and you must not be a man!
You smelled me out the way that only wolves can.”
Well, Jack and Bruce began to chat about their lives
About their illness, their sadness and their wives
They agreed that their full moon nights were bleak
They hated sneaking off, and they felt like freaks
“And besides, every full moon I make some excuse…
I think my wife’s getting suspicious,” said Bruce.
“Mine too!” agreed Jack. “She doesn’t understand…
And I can’t bring myself to tell her that I’m a wereman.”
They had so much in common, it felt good to confess
They agreed their diseases were causing them stress
They also noticed that they looked a lot like one another
Bruce’s wolf self could have easily been Jack’s twin brother
So by the time morning came, with the sun’s first gleam
They’d hatched up a rather clever scheme
A plan they would follow until they grew old
So they’d never have to spend the night lonely and cold
Which explains why Bruce's wife occasionally said:
“Goodness, Bruce! On certain evenings, you’re an animal in bed.”
