I didn’t get enough hugs growing up
No, there weren’t enough hugs for me
And that’s truly shaped the person
That I’ve turned out to be
I don’t wipe my feet on doormats
Even if I’ve stepped in puddles
And I litter everywhere I go
‘Cause no one gave me cuddles
I make fun of all those bleeding hearts
Who care ‘bout human rights
‘Cause when I was a tyke nobody
Tucked me in at night
I’ll never say, “God bless you”
Or "Gesundheit" if you sneeze
That's how infrequently
I'd get a bear hug or a squeeze
I’ll point and laugh and mock
If someone trips on their shoelaces
I don’t open doors for people
‘Cause I never got embraces
I don’t tip waiters, don’t participate
In canned food drives
If only I had gotten
Friendly back-pats or high-fives
But I didn’t, so I’ll say to you
GIVE OUT MORE HUGS! THEY’RE FREE!
Or the world will overflow
With dirtbag meanies just like me
