Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Plane Crash

We heard a plane crash in the woods
And we went to go stare at it
Orange fire bursting from its gut
Charred bodies inside it
Black plumes of smoke
And all we could think to do was urinate in our whiskey tumblers
Because we needed to release, and we’d been socialized not to cry.


Please don’t tear this baby from my breast
He is so full of viruses
If he nurses from someone else he will infect her too
Please let my baby infect me only.

Oh, you took him?
What hussy did you let him latch to?
Miss Penelope?!
She sends her breast all around town.
We’ll have a pandemic for sure.

Lady in a Red Dress on the Moon

Lady in a red dress on the moon
Why do you taunt me with your vulgar melodies
Stop sending your voice down to earth
Your songs have so many four-letter words
All I can do is stuff cotton in my ears
Your songs leave a sparkly dust on my rooftop
Which I have to sweep off
One day I’ll break my back because of you
Oh! I’m so annoyed.