Wednesday, February 17, 2010

hey zebra

today, i thought
today i will yell "HEY ZEBRA!"
in the crowded subway station
and maybe a zebra
will turn around
or any other creature,
i'm not picky.
i thought "HEY ZEBRA!"
and rehearsed "HEY ZEBRA!"
and i was surrounded
by the strange silent overcoated herd
perhaps
a zebra among them
but, i felt the strange silent pressure
of the overcoats
and i couldn't yell
i only squeaked
"hey zebra"
and it didn't work.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Pain

Cinderella thought
She had it bad
She obviously didn’t meet
Jesus.

Monday, February 15, 2010

my ascent from poverty

Today I had only three dollars and twenty-five cents
I bought water, flour, salt and yeast
Now I am rolling in dough.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

household objects

that dorky teapot is staring at me.
those prissy curtains are judging my outfit.
the svelte spatula thinks i'm chubby.
the socialite dessert spoons think i should get out more.
those sociopathic dish rags are plotting to kill me.
your fundamentalist doorknob is praying for my soul.
that brawny waffle-maker thinks i'm a weakling.
my clumsy ice machine has a crush on me.
your red-checkered tablecloth disagrees with my politics,
and my overweight backpack is stalking me again.

Friday, February 12, 2010

the towel

the airline stewardess
handed me a warm, wet towel
but
i didn't know what to do with it.
other people
wiped their face and hands.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

ginsberg

this morning i sat on the train
while sitting, i watched men in yellow outfits
hired by the government
burn piles and piles of garbage
while sitting, i listened to allen ginsberg read "america"
somebody else was blasting techno music
from their handheld technological music device
i listened and the suburbs went by out the window
garbage, grafitti, half-dead buildings push the ugliness away from the center keep cholesterol away from the heart.
i mental-blocked-out the techno
as it was, ginsberg was a private visitor
all-access pass
welcome to my neurons.
ginsberg says: america i still haven't told you what you did to uncle max after he came home from russia.
i get the feeling from ginsberg that america puts its shoes on first and its socks on second.


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

the definition of super-fortunately

she twists the twine around her waist
jumps off the cliff...
the thin twine breaks.
she twirls and screams, careens
through tender sky...
"my my" she thinks
"i am about to die!"
...but what is that? a giant bat
returning home at dawn?
no--not a bat! my stars! gee whiz! that´s a pteranodon!
she lands upon his wings, and sings
"what luck of clover-four!
instead of splat upon the ground
i´m on a dinosaur!"
past rocks and trees they ride the breeze
and reach speeds meteoric
instead of suicide, a rollercoaster prehistoric
she rides, they roam, then she goes home
she bakes herself some ham
"my climbing rope snapped off today...
how fortunate i am."

Thursday, February 4, 2010

the illiterate wizard of mings

I am the magnificent magical marvelous
mind-boggling Wizard of Mings!
I can make any regular rhino or rat
Grow a whimsical pair of white wings!
I can turn any snaggle-toothed salmon or snake
Into any old thing that I need
But alas and alack for my problem is that
I simply don’t know how to read!
Oh I desperately want to discuss Hume or Kant
To read Shakespeare, Rousseau, Sophocles…
I would give my big toe just to read Mr. Poe
But I can’t even sing A, B, C’s!
I think it’d be great-oh! to delve into Plato
Or journals of Captain James Cook!
For having a wand is awfully grand
But I long for the magic in books.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

make-a-wish

hello,
is this madame delicious smelling perfume?
this is the make-a-wish-foundation, and
because you have terminal leukemia
we were wondering if perhaps there is something
you´d like to do before you...well...
anyhow, some of our most popular wishes
include disneyworld and
swimming with dolphins.

kind sir.
i know i am a very popular item
and my disease is very tragic
and this is why you have called.
but i have never understood why people love me.
and my only wish
is to borrow a nose.

Monday, February 1, 2010

told you so

My mother wore
a big fur coat.
"Mother," I said.
"You look like a jungle beast."
"No," she said.
"I look like a stylish middle-aged woman."
But
the next day
she was shot by a poacher.

Grandma

A wheelchair is
a personal roller coaster
.....right?....
on second thought,
maybe Grandma did not want
to be pushed down that hill.

money

please, sir
can i trade
this shriveled lemur head
for that pack
of Trident white?
no, ma'am
it costs $1.75