Wednesday, February 27, 2013

A Jellyfish Poem That I Wrote for Jerome

“Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might…”

“Hey, buddy, that’s not right!
You think I’m a star just ‘cause I’m bright?
A stupid old star! How wrong you are!
If I’m a star, then you’re the tsar!”

“What's that you say? You're not a star?
Then how I wonder what you are!"

"What am I? I'm magnificent me!
A fearful predator from the sea!
I'll never grant your silly wish.
I'm a bioluminescent jellyfish!"

"A jellyfish! Well what a notion!
How'd you get there from the ocean?"

"Pf! Don't ask me why and how!
The point is that I live here now.
And I like it up in space
Not one shark around the place!"

"Jellyfish light, jellyfish bright
First jellyfish I see tonight...
I wish I may, I wish I might..."

"Stop that wishing! Hold your tongue!
Unless you're wishing to be stung!"

"Okay, fine, you mean old fish.
I'll go to bed without a wish."

"Hey, you're going? Wait, don't go!
It's lonely up in space you know!
There's no one here like in the sea
If you go, who will talk to me?"

"Okay, I'll stay. On one condish."

"What's that?"

"Grant me my gosh darn wish!"

"Okay, okay. I'll grant you one.
But just one wish and then I'm done."

"All right. That's fine. One wish I'll get.
I wish for you to be my pet.
You'll live in my room, right here by my chair.
I'll show you off at the science fair."

The jelly's spot in the sky turned blank
And poof! He appeared in my room in a tank.
I said, "Hi, I'm Sam." He said, "Hi, I'm Prince."
And Prince has been living with me ever since.
We're friends now--we talk and play games and hang out
He doesn't have sharks here to worry about
I feed him zooplankton and fish eggs and crab
He's the awesomest night light I ever have had.
And the best thing of all, well, that is, if you care
I won the first prize at the school science fair!
So keep wishing on stars, if you like, before bed
But if I were you, I'd wish on jellies instead.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Accidental Amphibian Attraction


There was a pied piper named Poot
Who said: “If I play on my flute
The lizards will all
Come to answer the call.”
But he only attracted a newt.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Not Everyone Belongs at a Hot Tub Party


Guy Slurp always carried a straw
He drank all the liquids he saw
And this explains why
We did not invite Guy
To enter the pool or the spa

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Quote from a 3 Year Old #3

A: What happens when somebody dies?
3 year old: Well, you get little pieces of their body and you ash them and throw them in a pond.
A: How do you get the pieces of the body?
3 year old: Well, you pull really hard I guess.
A: So if I go swimming in a pond I might come across a dead person's finger...then what do I do?
3 year old: Just throw it back in, silly!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Preferences

There once was a man with a key
Who set the caged animals free
Except for the trout
Who said, "Don't let me out!
I prefer my small tank to the sea."

I Have Some News

I have some news.
If you like, you can eat it.
Like most things, it is made of corn.