My car runs on blood
I found out because
I murdered a girl
Named Angelica Fuzz.
I was driving my car
With the girl in the trunk
Not in the back seat
'Cause the corpse really stunk.
I drove out of town
To deposit the lass
In a lake, but then, damn it
I ran out of gas.
At first I freaked out
What bad luck was this?!
But then, just to try it,
I slit the girl's wrists.
The blood wriggled out
And I filled up the tank
Then I put back the girl
‘Cause my goodness, she stank!
I turned on the car
And I thought—will it drive?
When it did, I announced:
“I’m the best man alive!”
I drove to the lake
And the engine ran fine
I dropped off the corpse
And was home before nine.
But Angelica Fuzz
Soon turned into a ghost
Can you guess who’s the man
That she hated the most?
It was me! So she tried
To discredit my name
“He killed me!” she said
“He’s a man of ill-fame!
He bludgeoned me dead
With a horrible thud!
And what’s more, his Ferrari
Is powered by blood!”
For a moment I thought
That she’d ruined my life
Me, a hard-working man!
With two kids and a wife!
But they didn’t believe her
They said, “Sorry, bud.
You’re a liar. Ain’t no car
Can function on blood.”
So the ghost was denounced
As dishonest and brass
And now, before murders
I fill up on gas.
I fill up on gas.
