The Pilot of Dreams

I woke up late this morning

Feeling strange as strange can be

For I was floating on a turnip

In the middle of the sea

The purple sea had gentle waves

With vegetables bobbing along

Like pumpkins, peppers and celery sticks

And the turnip I was on

“Excuse me,” I said, to no one at all

“But why am I not in my house?”

Then you wouldn’t believe what crawled out of my ear—

A tiny crimson mouse!

“I’m so sorry, so sorry!” the crimson mouse cried

“You see…I’m your Pilot of Dreams.

But I've made a mistake, and oh, what a mess

You woke up in the middle it seems!”

“You’re in charge of my dreams?!” I blurted aloud

“I must be completely insane.

A rodent controls my somnolent world?

My dreams aren’t produced by my brain?”

“Of course not, my dear,” the rodent replied

“Nighttime is rest-time for your brain.

Dream Pilots take over the unconscious work

Don’t worry—we’re very well trained.

You’ve got buttons and levers inside of your head

And I can control them all

If I push the red button, you’ll dream that you’re short

But the green one will make you feel tall.

The white knob makes dreams in which you can fly

And the black lever makes your dreams scary

The lavender button will make you a child

And the blue one will make you a fairy

If I press blue and red, but I have my toes crossed

You’ll dream about amorous weasels

And if I uncross my toes, but wink my left eye

You’ll dream you’ve contracted the measles

If I stick out my tongue, and pull a pink knob

You’ll dream you’ve been yodeling all day

And if I press the gray button three times with my tail

You’ll dream you’re a horse munching hay

If I pull the beige cord while gargling soup

You’ll dream that you’re buying new soap

And if I pull the same cord while my eyes are crossed

You’ll dream that you’re dating the pope

At the time I was pulling the orange knob

And turning the sparkly key

To produce a dream about a turnip boat

In the middle of a purple sea

But, whoops! I pushed the crimson button

And I felt like such a dunce

For I knew as soon as I did it

That you would wake up at once

And now you’re awake, and I’ll surely be sacked

Yes, my Dream Pilot days are through

But I thought before I put you back to sleep

I’d apologize to you.”

“Oh, the sea is just fine,” I stuttered

“I don’t really mind being here.”

But by that point I noticed the mouse’s tail

Disappear back inside of my ear.

Soon after I fell fast asleep once more

And woke up inside of my house

But I can’t help but wonder, if maybe someday

I’ll meet my new Dream Pilot Mouse.