Friday, August 7, 2009

Le Dragon et le Carniche

There once was a girl whose name was Kate

She took French lessons every day

She learned grammar and pronunciation

From a tutor named Madame Lafay

But while at lessons, she noticed a whisper

That repeated whatever she said

It wasn’t from inside the house

And it wasn’t from inside her head

So she went out to investigate

As to who this eavesdropper could be

And just under the window in the tulip bed

She found a dragon the height of her knee!

Kate was so startled she turned perfectly white

And had to sit down on the bench

She stuttered, “Y-you mean it’s a d-dragon

Who’s been eavesdropping on my French?”

Pardon moi, little girl!” the dragon replied

“I know what I did was a sin.

But I wanted to brush up a bit on my French

So I thought that I’d just listen in.”

“You sneaky thing!” said Kate with reproach

“Why didn’t you hire your own teacher?

And why on earth do you want to learn French?

After all, you’re a mythical creature!”

“Well, I’ve recently fallen in love,” he replied

“With a woman who’s not from this nation.

And as she’s a francophone mademoiselle

I’m improving my French pronunciation.”

“I haven’t been able to ask her out yet

Though I’m certainly hoping to try

But she’s so very pretty, and my French is so poor

And frankly, well, I’m a bit shy.”

“Who is she?” asked Kate in a curious tone

And the dragon pointed straight down the block

Where a little old lady wearing plenty of rouge

Was taking her dog for a walk

“Don’t tell me you love Ms. Pimkins?!” Kate asked

In a tone of complete disbelief

“But of course not, my dear!” the dragon replied

“I’m in love with the lass on the leash.”

“That’s Cosette, her poodle,” Kate pointed out

“I guess she’s not a bad-looking dame.”

“I love her,” said the dragon, with wistful eyes

“But she doesn’t even know my name.”

“I could help you with French,” said Kate after a pause

“If you don’t mind me being pedantic.

It would help me improve if I taught someone else…

And besides, this is all so romantic.”

“Oh, merci!” said the dragon, embracing Kate’s legs

“Not a problem,” said Kate with a grin

“Just come tap on my window tomorrow at noon

And your cours de francais will begin.”

They studied together each day for a week

And the dragon was doing just great

So he decided that very same Friday

He would ask out Cosette on a date

Kate helped the dragon get all spruced up

She gave him a file for his nails

And a fire extinguisher for his breath

And some oil to shine up his scales

Then she dropped him off at Cosette’s house

And was almost was as nervous as he

But she never saw him again after that

And wondered if Cosette had said, “Oui”

Soon after, Ms. Pimkins was babbling

That Cosette had escaped from her leash

And no one believed her, but she swore un dragon

Had eloped with her precious carniche

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