The glass is half empty but God is half full
I lost my retainer inside of a
Bowl of rice pudding from President Bush
Who sat on a thumb-tack and injured his
Tush, tush! He’s sleeping! Or maybe that’s “hush”
I can’t comb my hair 'cause I've lost my
Bruschetta is good, it’s tomatoes on bread
But if it is poisoned you’ll quickly be
Dead baby jokes are the cream of the crop
But when I perform them my mother says:
Stop and sbottom, bottoms and tops
Rain falls down in little
Dropsy is a bad disease
Always say thank you and always say
Peas are delicious and carrots are too
The hen says ‘ba-gawk’ while the cow says
Mood rings are funny, they show how you feel
Achilles was famous for having a
Heel of a good time when booze was around
Some items are lost and some items are
Founding fathers all wore wigs
The wolf went after three small
Pigsty! That’s what your room is!
I hope you studied! There's a
Quizzical wizard inside of my brain
My brain is quite small so the wizard’s
Insanely uncomfortable, what a poor chap!
Close your eyes, darling, and have a nice
Nappies are good when the baby has gas
The nappies are strapped on the baby’s small
Glass is half empty but God is half full
I lost my retainer inside of a
Bowling ball made for my dad who’s in jail
This poem is for you, Dad! It’s sent in the
Mail, or the female, which one has more power?
I picked all the petals off this lovely
Flower is used for the pie and the cake
What shall we do? Oh, there’s so much at
Stake is delicious, I love a dead cow
In Italia, instead of ‘goodbye’ we say
Ciao down! Dig in! Have a bite of this treat!
Let’s all eat together! This poem is
Completely absurd and my sweater is wool
The glass is half empty but God is half full
Of Himself, He's almighty, why not?
Horses can gallop and horses can
Trotsky was killed by a pick in the skull
The glass is half empty but God is half
Full-figured women are sexy as heck
As long as their head is on top of their
Neckties are fancy, tuxedos are grand
The Barenaked Ladies are my favorite
Banned are the books that depict sex and gore
And kids are so greedy, they always want
Morally we are inclined to believe
That when someone dies we should probably
Grievous and Butthead is quite a good show
I tried hard to watch it but Mother said
Nobody here has been doing their chores!
Hippies smoke ganja and soldiers fight
Warsaw's in Poland, and Poland has poles
Satan is busy collecting the
Soles of the shoes that have been overstocked
The man at the door rang the bell and he
Knocked up the girl of his dreams! And what dreamt he?
That the glass is half full and that God is half empty.
Of Himself, He's almighty, why not?
Horses can gallop and horses can
Trotsky was killed by a pick in the skull
The glass is half empty but God is half
Full-figured women are sexy as heck
As long as their head is on top of their
Neckties are fancy, tuxedos are grand
The Barenaked Ladies are my favorite
Banned are the books that depict sex and gore
And kids are so greedy, they always want
Morally we are inclined to believe
That when someone dies we should probably
Grievous and Butthead is quite a good show
I tried hard to watch it but Mother said
Nobody here has been doing their chores!
Hippies smoke ganja and soldiers fight
Warsaw's in Poland, and Poland has poles
Satan is busy collecting the
Soles of the shoes that have been overstocked
The man at the door rang the bell and he
Knocked up the girl of his dreams! And what dreamt he?
That the glass is half full and that God is half empty.
